How to Express your emotions

How To Express Emotion Hello everyone! Today's episode is about how to express emotion.Emotions are energy and energyhas to go somewhere. So when you suppress thatenergy, your emotions, instead of express that energy, it sits in your body and rots it from within. When you suppress emotion, your body starts to deteriorate. But that's not the only thing that starts to deteriorate. 

The world around you start to deteriorate, because even though you suppress those `emotions, those emotions (vibrations), still exist, and so they're still a pointof attraction within this Universe. And as we know, the Universe must matchthe vibrations which we are off-putting, and we are offering. The only emotions that you can heal are the ones that you let yourself feel and let yourself express. 

Iorder to feel our emotions, we have to be willing to risk vulnerability. Vulnerability can be very difficultespecially for those of us that equate vulnerability with getting hurt. So it seems very risky for us to allowourselves to come in to touch with our own emotions. But you can't heal any of the emotionswhich you feel, and your life will go very very bad for you, if you can't risk that vulnerability, and at least allow yourself to touch on those emotions and express them.

 If I were to lock twopeople in a closet, what you'd see is a natural progression of expression. Those two people would usually start in a place of anger. They'd be yelling at each other, they'd be blaming each other. They'd talk about resentments. But soon one person would come down to the level of hurt and disappointment.

 They would talk about how much it hurt them, what the other person did, how disappointed they were. They would talk aboutthe level of sadness. And very soon after that, one person would begin to express their fears, their insecurities, the real thing which is underneath our anger. And once somebody expressed that, either them or the next person would naturally progress to the next level of expression of emotions. Which is, of course, understanding and regret. So that person would thensay: "I totally understand. I'm so sorry that you feel that way. I know that I can be difficultsometimes because..." And very soon after that, they would reach the furthest progression of expression which is love, solutions, intentions, and wishes. So that person will then say: "I really do care about you. I'm really sorry. And this is the suggestion I might have for how to make it better." That's the natural progression that the expression of emotions takes, regardless of who it is that's in the room. Now, we just explained this scenario in the context of two people being locked in a room. But the truth is, the same thing happens when we lock ourselves in the room and look at our own emotions. 

We use this model of naturalexpression of emotions, and we mimic that model when we're trying to deliberately express emotions that we're currently out of touch with. We use this model of natural expression, to tell the complete truth about our internal states, and how we're really feeling. Let me explain; I want you to think of these different layers of emotional expression, like a building. And this building has five levels and based on our upbringing, based on who we are as people personality-wise, we are taught that it's appropriate to goto some of these layers of the building, floors you could thinkof them, and not others. So for some people it's appropriateto go to sadness and disappointment, it's appropriate to cry, butit's not okay to get angry. So that person has been taught that it's not okay to go to level one of this building. Another person might have been raised to believe that it is inappropriate to express fear. they can't express insecurity, but it's okay to go to the level of anger. So they may not be allowed to go to level three, but they can go to level one. Our healing depends on our willingness to go to every single level of that building and express the complete truthabout how it is that we feel. And we express this truthby going in order. So here's the order for you now. 

Tlevel is anger, resentment, fury, blame, and repelling theother person or ourselves. The second is disappointment,sadness and hurt. The third is insecurity, fear, bad memories and deep wounds. The fourth is understanding, empathy,responsibility and regret. The fifth is love, solutions, wishes and connecting with the other person or with ourselves. So what you want to do is to put yourself in a room where you don't have to be disturbed by anybody. And I want you to either type this out on the computer, write it out, or just speak it verbally to yourself. I want you to express your emotions relative to every single layer emotionally in succession. Beginning with anger and progressing down the list. Here's an example ofhow that would go; If I was the woman in the previous scenario that was out with my mate and he cat called another woman, I would go home later and I would sit down in my room, and I would begin by expressing the anger I felt relative to that situation, all of it. So what I'm about to demonstrateto you as an abridged version. You want to express every emotion relative to the one layer of that building that you're on, before you move to the next. So, the abridged version.For example. Level 1: anger and resentment. "I'm so incredibly angry at you when you act, as if other women are more beautiful than I am. I regret the day I married you. I hate the fact that I gave the best years of my life to you, and I blame you for the fact, that I am living such a miserable life in this relationship." This is not the time to bedelicate with your emotions, this is the time to express thenitty-gritty darkest aspects of what you're actually feeling. Once you've expressed all theanger you move on to level two, which is of course, the levelof disappointment and hurt. So it looks like this; "I am so sad that I thought in thebeginning of this relationship that everything was goingto go well for us, and it turned out like everyrelationship I've had before. I'm so incredibly disappointed that nothing that I ever want works out for me. I'm disappointed that I can'tfind a man who appreciates me. It makes me so sad that I dedicated the best years of my life to you. 

It makes me so incredibly sad that no matter what I do I can't feel,as if there's love in this relationship." After you express allof the emotions that you have in your being relative to hurt, and disappointment and sadness, you progress down to the layer ofinsecurities, fears, deep wounds. So it would look like this; "I'm so afraid that I'll never get my body back after I had our children. I'm scared that I'm not theperson that you married. I'm afraid that one day I'm gonna wake up and realize that you've left me for another woman because I'm not beautiful enough for you. And that reminds me of when I was a little girl and my father always used to find fault with my appearance; I was never good enough for him." You see our fears always have to do with bad memories. That's why we seem to overreact relative to every situation. Even little things. They're not really little things because they're linked to very big things, very big things embeddeddeep inside of our memory. After you have expressed all of your emotion relative to the layer of fear and securities and bad memories and deep wounds, don't be surprised if you have a serious emotional release relative to this particular level. This is the layer of vulnerability, which we are really looking for. This is where real healing takes place. Once you're done with that, you want to progress down to level 4, which is understanding, empathy, regret. So this is what that would look like; "I understand how difficult it must be to be with somebody who is so different than the woman that you married. I regret the fact that I have such low self-worth, that I can't just watch yousay that to somebody else and not take it personallyevery single time. I know how hard it must be for you to feel like you're walking on glass or egg shells. Once you've expressed all of your emotions relative to that particular level of the building, you sink down to the next level, level five: our love, solutions, intentions,wishes and sense of connection. So this is how this would look; "I really do love you. I care what you think about me. I wish that we could have the kind of relationship where you could say anything you wanted to somebody else and that didn't have anythingto do with our relationship. And I think it might be a good idea if you will watch the kids once a week, so that I can go to the gym. And I can start gaining some self-confidence and I can be the personwho I was, who I really am. Once you have done this full process, you have expressed the completetruth about how you feel and the truth exists on alllayers of this building. Then real healing can take place, because you can see what the actual issue is. So you might choose then to look over your list of all the levels for specific bullet points, and then write a letter tothe person that you love. Of course, you don't have to do that, you can just keep it to yourself, if you like to, because the most important part is that you've expressed it, but you might want to take this a bit further and heal even more by expressing it to the person, who was involved in that circumstance, which is now causing you emotional pain. So you might want to look over that list for "highlights", things that you feel are incredibly important to express to them. And then do so. When you're involved in a couple type relationship, any kind of relationship, really, as long as both couples are amenable to doing this process, you can apply this by sitting down across a table and agreeing that when you have a conflict come up, you're not gonna get in an immediate argument. What you're gonna do is you're gonnasit down on opposite sides of the table and one of you is going to start, the other one doesn't get to talk. And the person who's talking first, gets to go from the top, all the way through all the levels, and express themselves completely, without the other one talking. And then, the other persongets to do the same thing. They have to start all the way back up at anger, and go all the way down, through all the levels expressing their truth to the other person. Now, you might notice, if you are the second person going in the line, that after the first person is expressedthe complete truth about how they feel, the last thing you want todo is go back to anger. But it's necessary for you to express your story in this way. And by doing this you'll be ableto find some real solutions. And you won't be walking around with all of this suppressed energy inside you. For those of you that have a very difficult time accessing your emotions, I'm going to give you some probing questions which will help you to access the emotions relative to each one of these levels. The first being anger. I hate it when.. I am so angry that.. I'm fed up with.. I am filled with rage when.. Then the next: I feel so disappointed that.. I feel so sad when.. The thing that hurts me so badly is.. This is why it hurts me so badly... And now the next level: I'm afraid that.. What I'm truly afraid of is.. It scares me when.. It reminds me of.. Now the next level: I'm sorry that.. Please forgive me for.. It is completely understandable that.. I regret that.. I understand that.. And now the last level: I want to.. I forgive you for.. I hope that.. Thank you for.. I appreciate you because.. I love you because.. It is reasonable to expect that at the end of this process you will feel incredibly vulnerable. You will access that raw space which most of us are very uncomfortable of. Most of us try to numb it out with pills. Or numb it out with addictions. Or numb it out in other ways. But I promise you that if you allowyourself to be with that rawness, you will have access to healing, your life will start to improve,because that emotion, you can't just ignore and suppress it. It will come out, if not verbally, it will come out through your subconscious actions, it will come out through your body, via illness, if you don't express that emotion. And your relationships will not succeed, if you suppress emotions. Because essentially, energetically, every time you are in a relationship with someone, That relationship can be compared to two cylinders, two glasses of water. And the glasses of water havea hose in between them. And when one of these glasses ofwater suppresses their emotion, it pushes the emotion through thehose up the other glass of water. This is why you often find in relationships that there is one "crazy partner" and one really stable partner, who is always going "what thehell is wrong with you".

 It's because the really stable one is suppressing their emotion and that emotion is now going through the hose and is expressing itself through the conduit partner. The one who naturally expresses. The problem is, if two people in a relationship begin to suppress that emotion, the hose in between the two glasses of water breaks and relationships will no longer continue. Or the suppressor willsuppress that emotion and the other partner will get soincredibly tired of feeling crazy, 'cause they're not only dealingwith their own emotions, they're dealing with the other person's emotions, that they feel, as if they haveto end the relationship. So expressing your emotions is not only the key to physical health, it's not only the key having your relationships work, it's also the key to you feeling a sense of peace. Getting raw and getting vulnerableis incredibly beneficial. And it's necessary, if we are ever to find any kind of balance here in our lives. So try this process.

 I hope it benefits you.